A Paradoxical Look At Paradox…

A Paradoxical Look At Paradox…

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Shake up your life and reap the rewards.

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Definition of Paradox:

A seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true: in a paradox. he has discovered that stepping back from his job has increased the rewards he gleans from it. 

Getting what you want from letting it all go; it may seem difficult, but there are times in life where that is exactly what you must do to succeed.

In my case, one day while everyone was chasing the dream, I decided just to live mine.

Chasing was too much work. I got tired, depressed, fat and cranky.

It always looked like other people had it all. They had what I was chasing–the nice house, the cool car, the rockin’ outfits on their more rockin’ bodies… and then one day, everything stood still.

The day after my sister-in-law passed away, my husband and I had a breakthrough moment. It came from asking ourselves the question: “Did she live exactly the life she wanted? Where, what, why, and with whom?” I believe she did. Doesn’t everyone? In truth, I never asked her. And, the thought hit me. “What if she didn’t?” Next, the big question arose: “What if I’m not? Maybe everyone…doesn’t? And, who am I to judge other people’s situations when I am not fully living my truth?”

So, I gave up chasing, and today, and every day, I feel blessed to be alive. Thanks to my sister-in-law’s passing, I learned to live and embrace the power of paradox. It may seem like an odd lesson, but wait! I plan to turn this whole goal setting, build life of your dreams nonsense on its ear.

Let’s live like we are dying!

This line shows up in songs and movies, but what does it mean? To me, it means if we are killing ourselves doing things we don’t want to do, to get things we don’t really need, or living in places that don’t nurture us, then what’s it all about? The contradiction here is that if we lived every day like we were dying, which we are, then what might we do differently today? Where would you live; what would you be doing; and with whom would you spend time?

Many of my clients have massive goals and demand measurable results. I discovered they shared a common element–the magic of paradox. Paradox is simply the awareness that two completely opposite realities can exist at the same time.

What I mean is that when things don’t make sense, or are inexplicable, you go for it anyway. The results you get are so outrageous that people think you’re a cheater, or that you must be doing things illegally or immorally. If you want a magical life, you believe in some sort of magic. If you want a normal life, you believe that being comfortable is more important to you than anything else.

“Learn to live.”

I don’t believe in comfort. Human beings tend to seek non-confrontation and the “road to easy.” We actually think we can be in control. Success doesn’t live on Easy Street. Success lives at the bridge of absurd, out of control and crazy. We set everything up to be comfortable, only to realize that “joie de vivre” arrives when we are in creating mode, and feeling out of control.

If your goals are designed for you to end up in comfort, ironically, achieving your goals can begin a downward spiral, leading to anxiety, depression and/or a feeling of un-fulfillment. That is the biggest paradox of all.

To get results, we must tear things down, in order to change and grow–like the contradiction of tearing our muscles during our workouts, in order to build bigger muscles.

My key paradox is to cause great disruption in my life, and the lives of my clients, so that the lives we create are bigger, bolder, and have more abundance than we can imagine. If I can get my clients to the precipice of firing me, I know I have affected change with them.

Stop seeking comfort! It will eventually squish your spirit. Protecting your lifestyle is 100 percent different from creating a life. Love, life, and success of any kind can only be exquisite if you are willing to step away from the safety of what you already know.

“I gave up chasing.”

That is the paradox.

I don’t know about you, but I am done with trying to be happy. My goal now is to tear down the walls of what I spent the last 20 years building, trust that it will support me through the transition, and expand into the person I know I truly am.

Crazy? Yes. Simple? Yes. Easy. No. Then again, if it is easy, it will not be worth it in the end. And, if it’s not the end, it’s not over.

The Paradoxes of Champions:
  1. Only by destroying your comfort zone can you be safe.
  2. Seeking comfort, or the easy way, can be a root cause of anxiety and depression.
  3. There are two ways of being—creating, or consuming.
  4. In order to win (get what you want), you have to lose (let go of what you have).
  5. Do the opposite, not the obvious.
  6. Stand for what you believe in,   not what is right or wrong.
 
Steffany Hanlen
Steffany Hanlen is a performance coach who trains high-profile professional athletes, including NHL hockey players and Olympians, as well as amateur athletes. Steffany's strategies worked equally well for others looking to achieve success and she also coaches artists, business leaders and many others reach their dream. steffanyhanlen.com

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